JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
