I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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