i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
