that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
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