went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
