You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
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