Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
