i was born a porn star she said
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
