WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
