I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
