We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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