After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Can you bring me the toilet please
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize