he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
