Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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