Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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