She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
