I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
