I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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