Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize