Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
