So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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