I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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