She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
