I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
