Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
