just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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