i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
