she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Never joke about your clitoris.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
