I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
