is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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