im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize