It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
