Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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