Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
