went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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