Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
So much rum. So many feels.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
