Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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