Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
