so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
