apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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