Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
