Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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