Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
