good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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