My friends, they love my intelligence
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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