very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
