I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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