He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
