I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
