Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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