she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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