I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
