HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
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She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
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WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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