you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
