R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
