I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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