Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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