i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize
