Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
