I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
it was like eating out sand paper
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
