Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
