I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
So much Jack, so little girl.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
