I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
don't judge my taste in strippers
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
