Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
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it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
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Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize